onebadbandito

sucks. i need a job. cant do anything...:(

oh my, i had the craziest dream last night. I had a dream that i was stranded in alabama with some crazy redneck drug addicts...and two of us had this plan to escape, me and this really ugly crackhead girl...but when we escaped the others chased us in a car and started shooting at us, but luckily....there just happenend to be a machine gun in the backseat of our car, and we started shooting up the other car.
It was fuckin crazy, because i could see inside the other car and see the other people getting torn apart by the hail of gunfire. Then later on we made it to some house, and we were hiding out...playing a video game, it was a driving game and we were driving through downtown houston. I said "jump after this next building" and she did, and she died in the video game. I remember feeling this feeling of dispair, like we were doomed because we died in the video game.
Then, i saw this scary ass monster run across the window outside, and i heard someone whisper "they found us". OHHHH SHIT! then i woke up. Had to write it down somewhere....most awesome dream i've ever had. Monsters, guns, drug addicts, car chases, and video games...damn what more could you ask for.

Today is just one of those days. I'm feelin all fucked up for some reason. Maybe its from my nicotine withdrawl. ha..Its finally friday tho, hooooooray.

I dont know why this feeling hit me all of a sudden. Just over all feeling bad about myself. I dont have too much going for me right now..I have a lame ass job..im not in school..going no where.

Well

Last night was pretty fun, went to miller outdoor theater for theater under the stars. Saw Big River which is a theatrical adaptation of huckleberry fin or some shit...I didnt really pay attention much to the play..most of the time was spent making fun of other people and various other things not involving paying attention. Buuuuut, it was still pretty fun. Next time i'll be prepared with the propper drinks :)

Annnnnnd! I just found out in the not too distant future(6 months or so) I'm gonna move into a house with my friend...and i'm gonna pay dirt cheap rent! Like no more than 250 a month. Its gonna be all ours. My own fuckin house. AND ITS BELLAIRE! Ahahahahaha!!! What makes this even better is that i've been friends with this guy for over 7 years and out of all of our circle of friends, we're always the sensible and the ones with the most common sense. So...it's gonna be chilled out and smart. This is an appropriate time for....BIG BABY JESUS I CANT WAIT NIGGA FUCK THAT SHIT I CANT WAIIIIEEEET! BIG BABY JESUS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See you chumps later

I DONT FEEL GOOD..EVER!

its 330 am, and i cant sleep. I've got my 5 minute clay facial mask on...preparing for bed as you put it...Listening to the theme song from kids in the hall...Ohhhh shit, and i watched a video of Danzig getting knocked the fuck out www.azpunk.com That has got to be the best fight video i've ever seen. For one, i always thought danzig was bad ass in the misfits, but he is a bitch..and two the slow motion replay at the end. Fuck that chick who's all like cheap shot cheap shot...Danzig was lookin right at him when we got clocked..Awesome...

self fullfilling prophecies.

I try so hard my dear to show, that you're my only dream. Yet you're afraid each thing i do is just some evil scheme, a memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart. Why cant i free you're doubtful mind and melt you're cold cold heart. Another love before my time keeps you're heart sad and blue, and now my heart is paying for things i didnt do. In anger unkind words are said that make the tear drops start, why cant i free you're doubtful mind and melt you're cold cold heart. You'll never know how much it hurts to see you sit and cry, you know you need and want my love, yet your afraid to try. Why do you run and hide from life, to try it just aint smart, why cant i free you're doubtful mind and melt you're cold cold heart. The more i learned i learn to care for you, the more we drift apart, why cant i free you're doubtful mind and melt you're cold cold heart.

I feel really crappy right now. I start to think that im being ignored by everyone. I dont even want to finish writing the rest of what im thinking because i write like a 4 year old child. nobody but you reads my lj anyway so i might as well just tell you the next time we talk. I should just make the tittle of my lj, my innermost thoughts that i want cynthia to read, but i write and pretend like i dont know she reads my lj so it makes myself think im cool or somthing.

"Like a beast with his horn, i have torn everyone who has reached out to me"

my new girlfriend

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/bi-sexual/kimberly-2614wb.htm

done it again. Its the same thing everytime, when the fuck am i gonna learn. Pushing people away doesnt make them want to be closer to you. Seems like it would be easy to figure that brain buster out, but fuckin a...i guess im slow. The thought of being alone again is so fucking scary, i dont want to be. But at the same time, i think i know in my heart that staying with this....it isnt right. She deserves somone better than me...somone who doesnt make her cry. Somone confident, secure, and somone who isnt me. Not to mention better looking...

mmmm. Im crazy bored. Nothin ta do....its so incredibly hot outside...The humidity...ugh. Fuckin houston. Debating on whether or not i should go get some paint and just fuck around drawing and painting the rest of the day. Either that or buy a bag and sedate myself for the next while. Dunno, decisions decisions

ha

People will read my lj, i have a good feeling about this onel.....